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Writer's pictureVeronica Puryear

To get what you want from love and relationships, own your desires

Updated: Mar 24, 2022

Are you rejecting your desires before someone else can?


I talk about this concept with people so often and also reflect on it a lot myself as someone with anxious attachment tendencies.


Where are you playing small and rejecting yourself before others even have the chance?


Are you offering up the most cautious and contained version of yourself to avoid being too much because…..fuck that.


I know I’ve done it. Recently even (remember, my practice is not about perfection, it’s about awareness).


I’m not suggesting that if you were to travel back in time and be your biggest most full expression of your nasty, delicious self that the object of your affection would have magically chosen you.


That is, sadly, not the point. Presenting yourself honestly and showing up to be loved fully sets a standard that some people will not be able to meet.


It might hurt to have someone see you in your full radiant glory and decide to pass, but wouldn’t you rather find that out now than continue to torture your nervous system and deflate your self esteem in a never ending push pull of uncertainty?


Like I said in the last post, this isn’t about the *right* thing to do. It’s about being honest about what you’re putting out in the world and taking responsibility for it.


I love you, and you deserve to be embraced in slow motion on a beach, not waiting for some slacker to text you.


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