Another coffee chat!
Listen, it's seems to spark to share comes primarily when I'm puffy-faced and fresh out of bed. You're welcome for this sacrifice!
Here I am elaborating on why I tease folks about perfectionism and overly polished speech in their relationship communication...
Is it bad to have practical conversations? Heck No! And it’s not that “I Messages” and formal discussions are bad or even ineffective…it’s just that you are likely overly reliant on yapping and finger wagging without even realizing it. (Sorry trying to be efficient with words here… )
Notice if you are more often than not giving long-winded lists of disappointments and complaints than you are sharing actual feelings.
Notice especially if you're missing the opportunity to embody your full range of emotion (people need something to work with and the things you talk about are SO MUCH more than the words you choose...it's about feeling and connection.) If what you want is wild, embodied love…of course there’s a place for the practical…but where’s the lover ship? Where’s your body and your actual felt sense of your emotions in the equation?
Dropping into the body to feel yourself as you communicate is not only simpler but (even when you're sharing sad or angry feelings!) more loving and connective.
This gives your partner something to attune to and creates more of a give and take instead of one person talking AT the other. I know it’s different from what we’re taught, but you may be infinitely better off simply spitting out “ick, no thanks!” Than to sit someone down and slowly torture them with talking points.
As simple as I am making this sound, I will confess it becomes simple with practice. There's a whole 7 Layer Bean Dip of nuance in what I'm sharing here!
So, yes, I invite you to try feeling yourself more as you communicate but also allow yourself to feel the experiment of it and for the love of all that is scared, get some help sinking into your gorgeous embodiment (hint: come visit me at indelicatecoaching.com)
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