Do you find yourself getting defensive when you do things for yourself or take up space in your relationship?
Do you imagine your partner getting upset with you or get really thrown off if they seem moody about you taking time for yourself?
Maybe you get real worked up and maybe rush to social media or your friends to complain, "I give them freedom!" "I do all of these things for them! Why can't they give me this ONE thing?!"
Look, I get it. It doesn't feel good for them to get upset with you or create an environment of guilt and shame...and yet...I mostly hear about this from folks who landed in the guilt/shame/conflict pretty fast!
Maybe without much of a reaction at all from your partner.
This is because you have a history of feeling guilty or ashamed and maybe because an adult in your life felt the same way or maybe even made you feel responsible for their feelings.
SO, not only do you struggle to take space for yourself, you're already primed to take someone else's feeling very personally. You are overwhelmed by their feelings (or the potential of their feelings) from the very start.
If you don't catch this pattern in yourself (and the sensations in your body along with the stories in your mind) then it might lead to conflict, anxiety, and avoidance with your partner.
Stick around to the end of this video for tips on how to notice and manage this pattern. If you're ready to improve your relationship communication skills, heal your anxiety, and unburden subconscious blocks that are getting in the way of actually using all of the cool stuff you already know...(and have fun doing it!)...come to me for a session or try a workshop (I recommend Siren & Sovereign for this one!!) at indelicatecoaching.com MUAH
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